What Makes You Strong?
As mentors, we frequently ask our girls to reflect on themselves and tell us what makes them
strong. It’s good practice for them to apply the skills and character-building exercises we do
during mentoring sessions, and it’s good practice for us to consider what a good example of
strength is for the typical college mentor or the everyday 3rd through 5th grader. I’ve seen
responses like, “I’m strong because I stand up for what I think is right,” or, “I’m strong because I
always help my little brother with his homework.” These answers, and every answer in between,
are perfect because each one means a girl has evaluated herself and decided that, for one reason
or another, she is strong.
The SWSG curriculum often showcases women who show strength in the face of adversity.
These biographies are important for any of our girls who have also experienced difficulty,
although our girls aren’t always willing to discuss problems going on in their lives. If they are,
our responsibility is to strike a balance between showing them how to find their strength from the
experience and letting them know that if they want, they can choose not to identify with their
struggle.
Suppose a girl is diagnosed with a disorder that may, in the future, physically disable her.
Especially with the SWSG curriculum in mind, a first instinct might be to reassure her that she
will find her voice and become an advocate for herself and others with disabilities. We might use
other examples of strong, disabled women who have made changes in the world and enjoyed life
while doing it. But, for a young girl unequipped to handle the reality of a life limited by
something out of her control, this response may not be what best helps her to come to terms with
her future. Perhaps she needs to know that she doesn’t have to settle for a future bound to this
new aspect of her identity, and instead she should keep aiming for the stars. She may need to
know that, with enough hard work and creativity, she can do and be whatever she wants. Period.
Arguably the most important thing about being a SWSG mentor is knowing – and being able to
communicate – that strength can come from anywhere. Everyone experiences hardship at some
point in their lives, and no two people cope the same way. We must remember not to limit our
mentees to one concept of strength, and ultimately, to let them decide how and why they find
their own.
