Ask Helen: Real-World Advice for the Modern Mentor
This post is the first in our weekly column Ask Helen: Real-World Advice for the Modern Mentor. Some weeks this column will be in an advice-column format, while others will be a reflection on SWSG-related goodness. If you are interested in being featured in the column, send your questions, comments, and concerns to us swsg.nu@gmail.com. Otherwise, read on.
In the immortal words of Julie Andrews and Raven-Symoné: “Some girls are fair / Some are jolly and fit / Some have a well-bred air / Or a well-honed wit.” I find that assessment to be dangerously optimistic.
That’s not to say that the Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement isn’t a great movie—it is, in my humble opinion, Oscar-worthy. Anne Hathaway is an American treasure.
I would love to be someone like Anne, who waltzes into any setting and dazzles everyone with her firm grasp of the above-listed traits—but I’m not. I’m fabulous in a lot of ways, but first days are always thoroughly awkward for me.
On my first day of 10th grade, I caught swine flu. On my first day of study abroad, I did the robot as a joke in front of a large crowd of people who avoid me to this day. On my first day of kindergarten, I walked in on another girl in the bathroom and was so startled that I just made small talk instead of leaving.
I do not make good first impressions, and consequently I hate the First Day of everything without exception—so early January is always hard. Why do I have to start a new co-op? Why do I have to go to meetings? Why can’t I just be alone with my tax refund and a FunFetti cupcake?
I’ve adopted a strategy that works relatively well: since I am bound to be awkward the first few days of any new experience, I generally just try not to speak at all. Two weeks in, I’ve managed not to make a weird first impression—or any impression at all—and I can ease in from there.
Is it foolproof? No. Has it worked so far?
Well, I guess. It’s still the first week, but I’m just so overwhelmed and lost and lonely at work. Today I spent fifteen minutes in a conference room by myself trying to pull out one stray eyebrow hair.
My co-op is in Central Square—I got off the bus back at Northeastern at 5:33pm. I nearly sprinted from Mass Ave to Boloco for dinner and then on to Kariotis. Why, you ask? Good question. Ten points to Gryffindor.
I scooted across campus at the speed of light for Strong Women Strong Girls. Tonight was our e-board kickoff—three hours of logistics and Google Docs and scheduling.
Honestly, it was heaven. And not because of the logistics—though really I do love logistics. It took a few minutes for me to catch my breath; longer than usual, actually, because I did not take a break before scarfing my burrito. Still in my grown-up-lady shoes and Old Navy pea coat, the post-work anxiety didn’t leave right away, but as familiar faces started to filter in I started to feel more like myself. People laughed at my jokes. Hugs were exchanged.
There’s something about that community that is so unlike any other. I think it’s because we’re all there for different but equally important reasons. Everyone who comes to SWSG does so because they want to mentor—but we stay because we feel loved, or because we rise up and become leaders in the organization, or it dawns on us how much of a difference we can make with any single contribution to this community. Even sitting in an unfamiliar room in a different role than I’d ever held before, there was something so comfortable about being surrounded by the trust and love of so many passionate, brilliant, strong women.
The first day of Strong Women Strong Girls was not horrible. It wasn’t awkward or scary or lonely. It was wonderful because SWSG is home. It’s family. And three hours in a basement classroom with them is preferable to being anywhere with anyone else.
Remember when I said I hated the first day of everything, without exception? I think I was wrong.
Got any problems, mentoring or otherwise? Do you need advice from an insightful narcissist? Write to Helen by emailing swsg.nu@gmail.com. She loves helping. Really.
