Enable the Tinkerbell Voices
Yesterday I experienced something unexpected. I was meeting with a group of representatives from a corporate sponsor of Strong Women, Strong Girls - I’m a mentor, but I’m also the Development and Communications Assistant in the Boston office for the organization. I made my way from our small, homey office space on Washington Street to the shiny, sleek offices on Boylston. I was signed in, given a nametag, and put on an elevator to the 7th floor. The doors opened, and I was greeted by a slender blonde woman who moved and who spoke like Tinkerbell. Not a woman you would assume to carry a lot of power, simply out of stereotype. I entered the conference room, sat, and I looked around. There was only one man present to represent his gender. As discussion rang on, I waited to hear his input, interested to see what I perceived to be the inevitable masculine takeover of this predominantly feminine conversation space. But the takeover never came. The entire meeting, this man spoke two words: “Ok, yeah.”
In spaces with gender diversity, I’d grown used to masculine control, I’d grown used to hearing rumbling voices and firm tones overpowering lighter peeping comments from feminine people, and I’d grown used to lowering my voice and projecting so as to be firmly heard and understood. But here I was, in a meeting being run by a woman with silver bells on her vocal chords, watching this very traditionally masculine man sit silently as ten or so women discuss finances, upcoming events, office politics, and partnerships.
And I had a moment of recognition that caught me off guard: This man was sitting there, likely experiencing what so many women in the workplace have experienced every day; he was intimidated into silence. He felt he had nothing of value to contribute. This moment was soon followed by another: Women can run the world, if given the opportunity. This was something I’d known for a long time, something I theoretically understood, but never something I’d seen firsthand. Last week, when there was a blizzard in DC and only women showed up to work in the Senate, was evidence of this as well. And another moment following that: in my lifetime, this could become far closer to normal.
This was a rare occurrence, I realize, made possible by the female-focus taken by the organization I’d chosen to involve myself in, and by the unwillingness of many men to take part in female-focused groups for any number of reasons. And by no means am I fighting for a feminine takeover of masculine spaces, but I am fighting for feminine voices to be heard in masculine spaces, and vice versa. As a part of this team and especially as a mentor, I have seen the power and ability of so many girls that so often is stifled by a patriarchal society, and I have seen the unwillingness of perfectly kind-hearted boys to involve themselves with female-focused groups.
And I want to be clear: In no way do I blame each individual man for this injustice. As I saw yesterday, a man can be silenced by a large group of empowered women in the same way that women so often are silenced by empowered men. I blame society, for systematically empowering men to the point of dominance. And so I ask society to fix it. Men, women, and all people in between, need to raise their voices so that Tinkerbell voices can as well. Empower girls. Make the choice to hear a girl or a woman whose voice might otherwise be squelched.
